Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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