I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
