Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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