i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize