You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You took a bar mat shot.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Randomize
