Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
