I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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