my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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