So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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