I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
there is glitter all over my balls
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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