Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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