I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize