now i know why i became what i already was.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
