I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
