and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
