I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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