Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
