Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
