Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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