He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
