I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
