when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
