Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
