You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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