You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
