i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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