The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
