Only a mothe r could love this liver
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
