You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
