no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
