Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Moan for me like Helen Keller
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
