Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
