I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
