I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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