is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
