Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
