if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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