...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
