im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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