It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
