my being single is dangerous.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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