3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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