her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
