hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
