Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
