You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
