so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
