I CAN MOONWALK!
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
