I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
