i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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