Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Send help, water and tortillas.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I think people are normalizing furries
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
