How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
