So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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