i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
