I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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