so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
