i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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