then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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