32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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