I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
