Umm I'm too high to move.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have aggressive nipples.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
