I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
