Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize