Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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