so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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