Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
