Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
