You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
