She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
