I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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