last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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