haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
either way he was missing a nipple.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
