i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
