Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
