If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize